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Bumpy ride since graduation, and this post is basically paragraphs of me venting. Where do I even start, and what do I talk about? π€
Ok, I have had an abysmal run in performance so far. Also, on my badge is a voluminous record of unnecessary milestones. Regardless, a win is a win, and I refuse to feed on the tasteless crumbs of some emotional leftovers π
Lately, my thoughts have been murky with a constantly overflowing backlog of tasks tapping my shoulders for attention — tasks from my remote job, deadlines from my client’s projects, preparing for interviews etc. You know how you sometimes just want to scream but can’t risk being dumbfounded if someone frantically rushes to your room and asks why?? ππ Still, my frustration finds a way to seep beneath my door. Phew!
What I find weird is how I’m morbidly attached to this chaos and the embellished sense of progress it feeds me. I still wanted more! And luckily, novelty is a toxic girlfriend I have failed to knock out of my orbit. The fragrance and sweet flavours of distraction she spontaneously delivers are alluring. Recently, she drove me to learn magic after the solution to a particularly difficult algorithm problem eluded me.
Magic is awesome, man. Flying around on brooms is so fun until you crash into some electric pole and lose your front tooth. Not that kind of magic, though, although I wish it was π. I mean, conjuring pizza anytime I wanted would be so cool, and pranking people would make an awesome pastime. Anyway, after minutes of practice, I can finally create the illusion of a ring slipping out through a rubber band. Can’t wait to start those cool card-disappearing tricksπ
I want to talk more about many things, like the LED lights I bought, whose remote has since stopped working. But there is a deadline squeezing my throat right now. Next time!
PS: Do reach out to me if there is anything I can help you with. Will try my best or lead you to the right people π
your writing is beautiful, Faddal!
thanks, Farida. very much appreciated!
Very enlightening piece!
thanks, Cynthia!